Supposedly I was supposed to be "served" this week. He thought I was going to be "blown away" by this news. Really? However, I was not served at all. I'm almost never home. I did ask that he not have me served when the kids are around. I also texted him and said, "Let me know when and where and I'll be glad to meet whomever it is that's serving me." He claims he doesn't know. (I guess mommy had enough money to use a court appointed servant rather than having him pick one and/or a time/place.)
At any rate, he's not paid the mortgage. Nor have I. Neither of us have the money. (Hard to have the money with no job, no child support, and not being able to get cash assistance. THAT'S a big clusterfuck.)
See, there's this thing in NYS where if you collect child support it goes to social services (if you're on cash assistance). *Somehow* cash assistance "overpaid" me by $688. So now, until that is paid, I cannot get cash assistance. Without child support, it's damn near impossible to pay off that $688. It's CRAZY!!!
So here we sit, wondering wtf we're going to do, or where we're going to be in a few months. And in the meantime, I'm trying to get rid of crap in the house (an ongoing battle, which I fear may NEVER end) and clean up just in case. I have to find out what a buyout cost on a house REALLY means in a divorce. Obviously neither of us has the money to buy the other out if this is an exorbitant amount of money. If we sell the house, we still end up owing. I can only come up with two solutions: win the lottery and/or rob a bank.
There may be a third option in there. I'm going to be taking a settlement (I hope) on my comp case from 1991. This was before I even knew Mike that I was injured, so he has no legal claim to the funds. That *may* be my saving grace. (And hey scumbag, if you're reading this and reporting back to him, guess what - an actual LAWYER told me this. So whatever hopes he has...tough shit.)
Yes, believe it or not there are people searching me down on the web to try to give him divorce fodder. really, I have no idea why. It's not like we don't both want this divorce. It's not like he can take care of himself, let alone the kids. (Thanks for making me feel so much better about this, guys. Seriously - he's lost his shit on Emily this past weekend and just can't control himself. I ended up "rescuing" her again. I don't know what does more damage to her - spending time with him, or not taking the time to learn how to work things out between them.) No worries with Kasia. She won't live with him. Period. She would rather take care of herself than live with him. He still blames me for their lack of relationship. Whatever.
But the kids and I are doing well. We're just trying to live in limbo for a bit...sometimes hanging on by a thread, other times with a death grip, and still other times just hanging on to each other (and Tim). When I refer to family, they know I mean both of them, me, and Tim.
Speaking of which...it's a riot when people in stores commend us for being a united force with the kids - discipline and otherwise. They refer to him as my husband (and me as his wife) often. We get giggly over it. It's really funny when people we don't even know say things like, "Yeah, listen to your dad. Someday you'll realize he's very important to you." Hehehe. I know those things make him feel good, too.
Check out our family trip to see changing leaves and to find some gourds and pumpkins. After we carve the "family pumpkin" we will take more pics, I'm sure. It was a great weekend (save the drama from the ex).
How was your weekend?
