I almost hate to admit it, but I love to hear him snoring from the next room. I'm over at Tim's apartment stealing his wi-fi. Hide yo' wife! Hide yo' kids! They be stealin' the wi-fi!!
Sleeping that deeply...he hasn't in a long time. I got the kids off to school, picked up a quickie breakfast and the mandatory Timmy Ho's coffee, and let myself in. He didn't even wake up when I covered him up and kissed his neck. Hehehe. It's a great feeling... Feeling ANY of this again is a great feeling. But we're so comfortable together.
It's been a long time coming, but I have been trying to reach the Neighborhood Legal guys. I think I can get a lot of help with the divorce. Unfortunately they only take the first ten calls at 9 a.m. every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Considering I have NO income to speak of, I'm probably a shoe in for some help.
Speaking of no income - I do have my comp checks (as small as they are). Exactly how is someone supposed to live on $55 a WEEK? Seriously. So now that I'll be going back to work (as soon as I can find something I can physically do), I'll likely look at what it'd take to settle the case. Mike is exactly $1220.23 behind in support. And out of work on disability (at 75% pay) until at least October 1. AND now he's gotten himself into the accident cycle v. semi. Really? REALLY?? So yeah, not real reliable on the "get the support taken care of" front. Thus, momma's got to shake her moneymaker and try to earn some coinage. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. I've already "reborrowed" some money I paid back to mom just so I could pay the mortgage. (He was also paying half of that. Neither of us can pay it on our own. Selling wouldn't benefit either of us - we'd still end up owing on the house with no where to live.)
But...I face it all with minimal freak outs. Tim's good for me that way. I've also reserved myself to the fact that with or without someone, I'm better off than where I was a year ago. WAY better off. Tim was just one of those funny little things life throws at you when you least expect it. And in a VERY good way. I did my stint of sowing my wild oats and having my midlife crisis fling after Mike left. Just wasn't for me.
And someday you'll all hear the story. When the time is right. :)
Can't wait to catch up on blogs and see what everyone else has been up to. I have no internet at home, so stealing it at Tim's or the local Ho's (Tim Horton's coffee shop for those who don't know) are my only options. Too hard to see on my white trash iPhone wannabe (aka Virgin Mobile LG Rumor Touch).
And as I close this, I still hear him snoring...quite peacefully.
Hugs and smooches and love all around. <3
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Where to start??
Well, it's no surprise this post will include fodder about the ex, just like most posts here. Of course he always gives me lots to talk about... But today - he got in a spar with a semi truck on his motorcycle. I knew it was coming. It was just a matter of when.
He's in his own world. It's sad really. He is fully convinced that everything is everyone else's fault - no matter what it is. It's clear by the look of his motorcycle that he hit that semi, not the other way around. Semi would have taken out the back end. It was the entire front end that was trashed. But of course it was "the other guy's fault."
He still believes that he is taking his meds (although proven wrong repeatedly), that he does what's best for Emily *by exposing her to her insane grandmother who has tormented the other grand kid, to the point there were restraining orders that she constantly violated, and court cases. Yeah, that's what's best for Em. But really, when Em's with him, I can't do much about it. When he's got her, he can pretty much take her where he wants, when he wants, and with whom he wants. He doesn't care that it's what's best for her. He cares that he CAN do it just because I don't want him to. (No matter what you say or do, he's going to do what he wants to, etc... That's just how he is.) Luckily Kasia's too smart to fall for "grandma's" bullshit.
It's going to get ugly at some point, and he says he's tired of my threats, but I have done nothing more than tell him what Family Court will do - appoint law guardians to each kid, do psychological testing on everyone involved, and make determinations about what is best for each of the kids.
There's lots more to tell, but that's it for now. I don't have internet at home, and I'd much rather spend time snuggling Tim and hanging out with the kids as a family. I just use this space (like most bloggers do) as a space to vent. There's only so much I can take before I just stand back and shake my head...
I'm sort of to that point right now.
Mike's now $970 in arrears for support. He's been out on disability (temporary) due to anxiety and panic attacks that aren't responding to meds (because he doesn't freaking take them!!). He has been out since September 1st (or thereabouts). I really wish there were some way I could tip off his psych. Is it unrealistic to think if I wrote her a certified letter she'd actually read it and listen? I just want him to get his crap straightened out...if even for Em's sake. Kasia has decided that she just can't deal with any more hurt - physical or emotional - from him. I can't say I blame her.
*continuing to shake my head*
He's in his own world. It's sad really. He is fully convinced that everything is everyone else's fault - no matter what it is. It's clear by the look of his motorcycle that he hit that semi, not the other way around. Semi would have taken out the back end. It was the entire front end that was trashed. But of course it was "the other guy's fault."
He still believes that he is taking his meds (although proven wrong repeatedly), that he does what's best for Emily *by exposing her to her insane grandmother who has tormented the other grand kid, to the point there were restraining orders that she constantly violated, and court cases. Yeah, that's what's best for Em. But really, when Em's with him, I can't do much about it. When he's got her, he can pretty much take her where he wants, when he wants, and with whom he wants. He doesn't care that it's what's best for her. He cares that he CAN do it just because I don't want him to. (No matter what you say or do, he's going to do what he wants to, etc... That's just how he is.) Luckily Kasia's too smart to fall for "grandma's" bullshit.
It's going to get ugly at some point, and he says he's tired of my threats, but I have done nothing more than tell him what Family Court will do - appoint law guardians to each kid, do psychological testing on everyone involved, and make determinations about what is best for each of the kids.
There's lots more to tell, but that's it for now. I don't have internet at home, and I'd much rather spend time snuggling Tim and hanging out with the kids as a family. I just use this space (like most bloggers do) as a space to vent. There's only so much I can take before I just stand back and shake my head...
I'm sort of to that point right now.
Mike's now $970 in arrears for support. He's been out on disability (temporary) due to anxiety and panic attacks that aren't responding to meds (because he doesn't freaking take them!!). He has been out since September 1st (or thereabouts). I really wish there were some way I could tip off his psych. Is it unrealistic to think if I wrote her a certified letter she'd actually read it and listen? I just want him to get his crap straightened out...if even for Em's sake. Kasia has decided that she just can't deal with any more hurt - physical or emotional - from him. I can't say I blame her.
*continuing to shake my head*
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