Last night the girls were at their dads, for "his weekend", and ended up arguing over turning off the light. Kasia wanted two more minutes of reading to finish her chapter. Em insisted it be shut off immediately. Mike threatened to rip the lamp out of the wall (because, you know, that would just solve EVERYTHING).
So she (Kasia) tried to leave. He blocked the door way so she physically could not. Somehow her knee (her bad one) got in between his and he clamped his legs together and twisted. He claims it was an accident, but when I called him on it, he kept dodging and insisting it was an accident (no remorse whatsoever) and looked like a puppy who had peed on the carpet at one point. (still no remorse - just pissed off that he had gotten caught). Both girls ended up coming home last night within minutes of each other.
I talked to hm today (with and without the girls) and I told him the legalities of the situation. Basically said this is the second weekend he's had them and the second weekend they've run back to my house. (Remember he lives two doors down.)
Therapist says that they have every right to leave if they don't feel safe, they are allowed to see me and talk to me as much as they want when they are with him (and vice versa), and then suggested he take parenting lessons. He didn't go for that at all. In fact, he didn't even listen when Em thought he was dangerous. Said I put that in her head, those words in her mouth, etc... And I basically said if this shit continues and he refuses parenting classes, then he will get supervised visitation...and then none at all. Em is really the only one who wants to see him to begin with. Kasia's at the age they won't force her to. But then he turned it around and made THEM feel bad for ruining HIS weekend - he could've had double time yesterday but instead was home while they fought over a stupid lamp, etc, etc. I called him out on that, too - it had NOTHING TO DO with the lamp. He was just trying to make them feel guilty.
Anyway, so "his" weekend is now "mom's extra weekend." Fine with me.
7 comments:
Ugh. I'm so sorry that the girls and you are having to deal with all tht. I know you will handle it the best possible way. Hugs.
Sorry I'm just getting over here. I barely check my gmail acct anymore or I would have been here sooner. I guess we are in the same boat, or similar anyway. I'm proud of you. I know how scary this is. Take care of you and your girls. Things will work themselves out. Love ya Goob! xoxoxo
Geez. I agree with Scribbler. And the thought that went flashing through my mind... How fast could that digress into serious physical abuse???
Any chance of documenting that in such a way that you could get "his" weekends revoked for safety's sake? I feel so bad for Em and how torn she must feel... wanting to see him but feeling that he's dangerous. Horrible place for a kid to be.
Horrible place for mom to be too. (((((hugs))))) to all of you.
(((hugs))) for the girls and you. He's such an asshole.
Stay safe.
Arrgh. "Things will work themselves out?" That was awfully cavalier and crappy for me to say. I had it rolling around in my head. I hope it didn't bug you the way it is me. I really didn't mean for that to sound the way it does.
Maybe it's me being overcritical of myself. Or just trying to avoid the uncomfortable shittiness that is MY life.
Really, what I mean is...you are so strong and amazing and you and your girls are so much better off with him out of your house. But if he tries to pull anything like that again, I'd kick him where it counts. He's a bully and he needs to be treated like one.
Also, I do love you, you know that, right?
oh Mother*****r! all i can say is your girls are blessed to have you guide them through this time. offering them validation and love and stability in the midst of instability. good job mom. hang in there.
oh Mother*****r! all i can say is your girls are blessed to have you guide them through this time. offering them validation and love and stability in the midst of instability. good job mom. hang in there.
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