Yesterday was probably one of my more hellish days in the last few weeks. It was our 15th anniversary.
I didn't expect to feel as badly as I did, and that's probably why it was so hard for me. I was truly unprepared for that feeling of failure to creep back in - could've tried harder, should've saved more money, would've fixed it eventually... Yet I know NONE of that is true. Still...it was a hard day. Top that off with my phone service being gone (including text because I couldn't pay for it until today), and having NO money (except the $10 I stashed for my outing with my friends Jack and John - priorities, ya know...)
At any rate, it was really fun hanging out with "the boys." They're a couple of fun guys that are about 58-60 years old. Guys I've worked with on musicals before, and hung out with, and who have accepted me - not as one of thier children, but as one of *them*. That alone means a lot to me.
We had some tough discussion, I fought back tears, and Jack had to leave to go have dinner with his wife. But honestly it was more a "catching up" than a sob fest, which was nice. John stuck around and we had a few more rounds and something to eat. (They only serve chili and roast beef at this place). And then I had to go. I had to promise John we'd do shots next time. (I had the kids last night - snuck away just to get together for a couple hours.)
And it was probably one of the BEST anniversaries I've had in the end. Usually I'd pay for us to go somewhere anyway. he never planned ahead. And I see that he spent a LOT of time texting his "friend" Linda. Whatever. (I only know because I was nice enough to pay for his phone today while paying for mine. I did give him the much lesser plan though. LOL!)
And while FB is nice for catch ups, I really needed my private space to be able to just vent, laugh, cry, or think...and I'm glad you're here with me. I'm sure I forgot to invite some people, but this blog isn't listed, and is by invitation only, and while that's a royal pain in the ass, it's necessary at least for now. I would appreciate it if you'd keep it bookmarked just for your personal use.
2 comments:
I had one of those wonderfully crappy days yesterday myself.
But you are going to be fine. Just like I will be. :)
i m finally able to read these. i was having password issues. thanks for inviting me - it means a lot. i'm glad you had some support for your anniversary!
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