It was probably the most satisfying anniversary ever...

Yesterday was probably one of my more hellish days in the last few weeks.  It was our 15th anniversary. 

I didn't expect to feel as badly as I did, and that's probably why it was so hard for me.  I was truly unprepared for that feeling of failure to creep back in - could've tried harder, should've saved more money, would've fixed it eventually...  Yet I know NONE of that is true.  Still...it was a hard day.  Top that off with my phone service being gone (including text because I couldn't pay for it until today), and having NO money (except the $10 I stashed for my outing with my friends Jack and John - priorities, ya know...)

At any rate, it was really fun hanging out with "the boys."  They're a couple of fun guys that are about 58-60 years old.  Guys I've worked with on musicals before, and hung out with, and who have accepted me - not as one of thier children, but as one of *them*.  That alone means a lot to me. 

We had some tough discussion, I fought back tears, and Jack had to leave to go have dinner with his wife. But honestly it was more a "catching up" than a sob fest, which was nice.  John stuck around and we had a few more rounds and something to eat. (They only serve chili and roast beef at this place).  And then I had to go.  I had to promise John we'd do shots next time.  (I had the kids last night - snuck away just to get together for a couple hours.)

And it was probably one of the BEST anniversaries I've had in the end.  Usually I'd pay for us to go somewhere anyway.  he never planned ahead.  And I see that he spent a LOT of time texting his "friend" Linda.  Whatever.  (I only know because I was nice enough to pay for his phone today while paying for mine.  I did give him the much lesser plan though.  LOL!)

And while FB is nice for catch ups, I really needed my private space to be able to just vent, laugh, cry, or think...and I'm glad you're here with me.  I'm sure I forgot to invite some people, but this blog isn't listed, and is by invitation only, and while that's a royal pain in the ass, it's necessary at least for now.  I would appreciate it if you'd keep it bookmarked just for your personal use.

Rising from the ashes

I'm hoping I've found a safe space to be myself.

New beginnings and all that...