Welcome to another installment of "Just how much of a Jackass can he be?"
1) He's pissed that Kasia won't go over to his house during the week. He doesn't "get" why. He also doesn't listen when she speaks to him, she's 13, so yes, she gets snotty. (I try to nip that but sometimes he just has it coming.)
2) He feeds Emily (the child who is overweight, especially for her short stature and who craves carbs) nothing but pizza, or french fries. Only ONCE have they had chicken and veggies. Never a balanced meal. Ever.
3) I asked him (since he's the "man" and all) to go to Home Depot for me (since he was going over there anyway and I couldn't) to get parts for my Halloween costume. I told him EXACTLY what I needed. I showed him EXACTLY how I was going to do it - on video, on paper, and by telling him. (One of the learning methods had to stick, I would have thought.) I even gave him my $30 Home Depot gift card so it wouldn't cost him (or me) a dime. I tell him SPECIFICALLY why other methods and materials won't work. What does he do? He comes home with NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR and it's all bent (instead of lovely curves it's all choppy and square-bent...NOT going to work for my costume.) So now that's not only a waste of my time, of his time, but just the entire MARRIAGE we've had. He doesn't listen. He is incapable of calling to say, "Hey they don't have this - will that do instead?" NO, he made an executive decision (which really - ALL his executive decisions end up this way, so STOP MAKING THEM). And I should be grateful he did anything at all, but now I'm less $10 on my card and still without the proper materials to make my costume. On to Plan B I guess. Damn it was going to be awesome.
4) Anything he has been asked to do for our Halloween prop situation has been met with a big fat no. "I'm not gonna do that." Really, he's trying to hurt my feelings, but all he's doing is making the kids feel bad and proving to them all over again that he doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself. (And yes, he was told this.)
5) I told him today that I will NOT get the parenting class information for him, nor set it up, nor call about it, nor find out where it fits into his schedule. AT ALL. It's HIS responsibility.
His motorcycle insurance lapsed and they cancelled it. Guess what. He doesn't know yet. Not my problem. I told him to take care of it.
HIs main excuses for not doing anything:
1) "I have no internet access." (Really? Then use the old method. This is the guy who refuses to throw away phone books and says he can find info in there faster than I can on the 'net.)
2) "I don't know when they are, where they're at, etc.." (Well really? Call a hospital. Call the therapist. Show up at a fucking appointment for your kid once in awhile.)
3) "When am I supposed to do these things?" (I dont know. Maybe on those days you take off becuase you don't "feel well" and then end up sleeping the day and night AND the next day away. It's called depression. I have it too, and I still have obligations for my children.)
4) "I'm too tired. I need to sleep some time!" (Yeah, instead of sleeping on Wednesdays when you get home from work, you go out with Linda and end up being too tired, going to sleep, and missing the events of your kids - like soccer, school events, etc.)
I'm so sick of the bullshit. At this rate, the only one who wants to spend time with him is Emily. Why? I don't know. For the most part probably because they're about the same emotionally and are two peas in a pod (which scares the hell out of me for her). Also, he pretty much lets her do what she wants...i.e. exactly what he does - sit in front of the tv or video game and eat crap and be lazy. never once does he take them to the park or anything to have fun. Never engages them in conversation or anything. And it makes my heart break for them. While it makes me look like an awesome parent most times, it's still tiring trying to make up for that shit.
It's horrible to say, but I almost wish he'd just keel over at work or something...sure the kids would be sad, but they'd get over it. And our lives would be ten times simpler.
3 comments:
I know you are documenting this here, but you need to also do it all nice and neat like somewhere so you can take it to court with you.
Good luck, sister.
He is a lot a lot a lot like my XH. (((hugs))). Try to stay sane. I know some days it is hard. <3
My kids have told me that if my jerk and I were to divorce, they would NOT, under any circumstances, want to spend time with him unless he was actually DOING something with them. They don't consider watching dad watch TV quality time.
And they are old enough to tell all of this to a judge if need be...
It's a shame he doesn't realize the opportunities he is missing with your kids. :(
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